My husband’s death turned me into a prison minister — 84-year-old retired teacher

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At 84, retired teacher and priest’s wife, Mrs Eunice Fowowe, speaks with TEMITOPE ADETUNJI about teaching, marriage, faith and service, including how her husband’s sudden death led her into prison ministry

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What was your childhood like?

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I was born on August 30, 1942, to the late Pa Josiah Olupitan of Ipele in Ondo State and the late Mrs Victoria Atuegbe Idiake of Ekpoma in Edo State.

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Growing up, I had the opportunity to experience life in different places, and that also reflected in my education because I attended several schools in different parts of the country.

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Where did you begin your education?

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I started my primary education at Sido School in Warri in 1951 and 1952. I later attended St. Stephen’s School, Ipele, from 1953 to 1955, and Holy Trinity School, Kano, from 1955 to 1957. In 1958, I attended Patience Modern School, Idoluwo, Lagos, where I obtained my Standard Six Certificate.

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How did you continue your education after that?

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After obtaining my Standard Six Certificate, I proceeded to Oriel School, Abule Nla, Apapa Road, where I obtained my Modern II Certificate between 1959 and 1960. I then attended O.T.T.C., Owo, from 1961 to 1962 and obtained my Grade III Certificate.

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Later, I obtained my Grade II Certificate from St. Helen’s College, Ondo, between 1965 and 1966. I also proceeded to the University of Ife, now Obafemi Awolowo University, where I obtained my A.C.E. certificate between 1977 and 1978.

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Why did you choose teaching as a career?

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Teaching became an important part of my life because, growing up, my dad wanted us, his female children, to either become teachers or nurses. So, I would say my dad inspired my decision to become a teacher.

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Aside from that, I loved working with people, particularly children. I found fulfilment in educating, guiding and positively influencing young people.

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Over the years, teaching became more than a profession to me; it became an avenue through which I could contribute to the lives of others.

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Where did you begin your teaching career?

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I started my teaching career at St. Patrick’s School, Owo, where I worked from 1963 to 1964. I later taught at Victory College, Ikare, from 1967 to 1971. From there, I moved to Multilateral Grammar School, Okun-Owa in Ijebu, where I worked from 1971 to 1982.

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I subsequently taught at Comprehensive High School, Odogbolu, from 1983 to 1985, and St. Peter’s Claver School, Esure, Ijebu-Imusin, from 1985 to 1992. I also worked briefly at Moslem School, Isonyin, in 1992.

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What gave you the greatest satisfaction as a teacher?

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For me, it was the opportunity to work with children and watch them grow. I have always been a lover of children, and I believe education is not only about what is written in books. It is also about helping young people develop good character and values that will guide them through life. I eventually left teaching.

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Why did you leave the profession?

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I voluntarily retired from the teaching profession in December 1992 after many years of service. My husband was transferred to Ikare Akoko at the time, following his meritorious service at the Anglican Communion, Ijebu Diocese. He had served for 22 years in the diocese and had spent 31 years in the priesthood.

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When did you get married?

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I got married to the love of my life, the late Venerable Jacob Owolabi Fowowe, on July 8, 1967. Our marriage was blessed with children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Looking back, I am grateful for the family God gave me.

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What roles did you play in the different churches where your husband served?

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I was involved particularly in the women’s and children’s ministries. At St. Barnabas Anglican Church, Okun-Owa, I led the women’s and children’s ministry from 1971 to 1982. I continued in similar roles at St. Paul’s Church, Odogbolu, from 1982 to 1985; St. Mary’s Anglican Church, Ijebu-Imusin, from 1985 to 1991; and Emmanuel Anglican Church, Isonyin, in 1992.

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After that, I continued serving in other churches, including St. Thomas Anglican Church, Ikare-Akoko, from 1993 to 1996; St. Michael’s Anglican Church, Epe, from 1996 to 1999; and Christ the King Anglican Church, Ajegunle, from 1999 to 2002.

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What was it like being married to a clergyman?

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Being married to a clergyman came with its responsibilities, but it was also a fulfilling experience. My husband’s calling meant that the church and the people we served were an important part of our family life. Losing my husband was a painful experience for me.

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What do you remember most about your husband?

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He was a man whose life was deeply connected to his calling and service to God. We shared many years together, and I supported him in his ministry wherever he was posted. The years we spent together and the family we built remain very precious to me.

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How did you cope with losing your husband?

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His death was a very difficult experience for me. On December 17, 2002, he was preparing to accompany the Bishop on a visit to Kirikiri Prison when he suddenly complained of chest pain. I was teaching at the church’s vocational centre in Ajegunle at the time, so he sent for me.

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When I arrived, I suggested that we go to the hospital, but he declined. I contacted a doctor, who came to attend to him and checked his blood pressure, which was 120/80.

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Before the medication arrived, my husband went to the toilet and collapsed. I quickly called the doctor again, but by the time he arrived, my husband had passed away.

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His death was a great shock to me. Because he died while preparing to visit the prison, I decided to continue the prison ministry he had been involved in; his death led me to prison ministry.

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How did his death lead you into prison ministry?

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His death had a profound effect on me because of where he was going when he passed away. He had been preparing to accompany the Bishop for the Episcopal visit to Kirikiri Prison. That experience made prison ministry very personal to me.

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I began to develop a stronger passion for the ministry, and I have continued to play an active role in prison ministry at Bishop Adelakun Howell’s Memorial Church, Surulere. I have also remained involved in the widows’ ministry.

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What does motherhood mean to you?

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Motherhood goes beyond giving birth to children. It is about caring, guiding, encouraging and being there for people.

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Over the years, I have had many people come into my life, and I have tried to treat them with the same love and concern I would show my own children.

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How important is your family to you?

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My family means a great deal to me. I am grateful that my marriage was blessed with children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Seeing the family grow across generations is one of the things that gives me joy.

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Looking back at your years in teaching and ministry, what gives you the greatest joy?

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My greatest joy comes from knowing that I have been able to contribute positively to the lives of people. Whether through teaching, ministry, motherhood or simply being there for someone who needed encouragement, I am grateful for every opportunity I have had to touch lives.

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What would you consider your greatest legacy?

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I would say my greatest legacy is the people whose lives I have touched. If someone can remember me as a woman who showed them love, encouraged them, prayed for them or helped them in one way or another, that is meaningful to me.

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What has life taught you over the years?

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Life has taught me the importance of love, humility, service and faith. Circumstances will change, and there will be difficult seasons, but we must continue to trust God and remain useful to others.

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What role has faith played in your life?

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I feel fulfilled as a priest’s wife because I love the Lord. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to serve the Lord in my own capacity as a priest’s wife.

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How old was he when he died?

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He was 63.

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What has prison ministry taught you about people?

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It has taught me that not everyone in prison is guilty of the offence for which they were jailed. Some were wrongly arrested, while others have no family members who know where they are.

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Through our visits, we have been able to reconnect some inmates with their families and offer them encouragement. We have also seen positive changes in some of those we minister to, including those who have accepted Jesus Christ and changed their behaviour.

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What was the hardest period of your life?

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The hardest period was the sudden death of my husband. When someone is sick and the sickness continues to get worse, you begin to think about death. But in my case, my husband was not seriously ill.

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He went to his office downstairs while I went to the vocational centre. There was no indication that anything was wrong. Then, suddenly, I was called and, within about 30 minutes, he was gone.

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You can imagine the shock and sadness. That has been my bitterest experience in life.

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What helped you through that difficult period?

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Because I have Christ and I know that my Redeemer lives, I was able to cope. As a priest’s wife, we usually comfort people who are bereaved. When it was my turn, I had to accept it as the will of God.

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Being active and busy in the church also became a source of comfort for me.

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At 84, what does life mean to you?

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Life is good. We are still struggling with life, but the Lord will continue to bless us and keep us in good shape.

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What do you believe helped your marriage remain strong through the years?

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I believe love, patience, understanding, and commitment helped to sustain our marriage. Being married to a clergyman also required me to understand his calling and support him in his responsibilities.

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We learnt to work together, serve others and put God at the centre of our home. There were challenges, but we remained committed to one another and to the family we were building. Looking back, I am grateful for the years we shared and the family that came from our marriage.

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How would you compare marriage in your time with marriage today?

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Marriage in our time was largely built on commitment, patience, sacrifice, and the understanding that couples had to work through their differences.

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People were generally more willing to endure difficult periods and seek solutions rather than give up easily. There was also a strong sense of responsibility towards the family.

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Today, I believe marriage has changed because society itself has changed. Couples are more independent and exposed to different influences, and some may have less patience when faced with challenges.

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However, I will not say that marriages today cannot succeed. I believe that love, understanding, respect, commitment and the willingness to work together remain important, regardless of the generation.

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