I lost my leg after bonesetter tied it to ceiling fan — Baker

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Caterer and baker, Taiwo Aderayo, tells TEMITOPE ADETUNJI about losing her leg in a childhood accident, the challenges of growing up with a disability, her struggles to secure employment and how she found a new path through catering and baking

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What was your childhood like before the accident?

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I cannot say much about my childhood because I was very young when the accident happened, so I do not remember much about life before it. From what I know and what my family told me; I had a normal childhood. I was like every other child, playing and enjoying the little things.

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Because I was so young, I grew up with my condition and never really saw myself as different. It was simply the life I knew. My family, especially my mother, also made sure I was treated like every other child. I am my father’s last child. Sadly, he died a year after I was born.

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Can you take me back to the day of the accident?

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It happened during break time when I was in Primary 3. My friends told me about a place nearby where we could get water, so we left the premises of our public school. We were walking along a street when a motorcycle suddenly hit me.

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The impact was serious. At first, I thought I had only twisted my leg and that it would heal within a few days. I was taken home, but instead of getting better, my condition worsened.

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I was taken to a traditional bone setter, but unfortunately, I was mistreated whenever my mother was not around. At night, he would tie my injured leg to an old ceiling fan, claiming that it would straighten the leg. I cried and pleaded, but nobody believed me because he told them I was simply being troublesome.

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Eventually, my mother and other family members became suspicious and insisted on seeing my leg. When they removed the bandages, they discovered that my leg had already started to decay.

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I was taken to several hospitals, but they initially refused to treat me. Eventually, my maternal grandmother, who was a matron, helped me gain admission to a hospital in Ijebu-Ode (Ogun State). By then, my leg was badly decayed and had to be amputated.

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How much of that period can you remember?

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I was very young, so I do not remember everything that happened. However, I remember receiving special attention from the doctor and spending time with his children. Despite the difficult circumstances, they made my stay more bearable.

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It was also a very difficult period for my mother. She was a single mother raising three children. She had to shoulder the financial burden of my treatment while also taking care of the family. It was a traumatic experience for her.

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Did your family’s approach to raising you influence the way you saw yourself?

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My mother played a major role in shaping the way I see myself. She never treated me as someone incapable because of my disability. There was never a situation where she would say, “Leave her; she cannot do it,” or “Her leg is hurting, so let her be.”

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I was a troublesome child, and she treated me like one. There were no special excuses for me in our house. Because of the way I was raised, I have never really lived my life as a disabled person.

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I could jump fences, climb trees, skip and participate in sports at school. I was even one of the best runners and dancers. I have always tried to live as normally as possible, and that upbringing made me very independent.

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How did you continue your education after the amputation?

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I am 26 years old, and I became an amputee when I was in Primary 3, about 20 or 21 years ago. Despite everything I had been through, I was determined to go to school and build a future for myself.

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Which institution did you attend, and what did you study?

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I attended Lagos State Polytechnic, Ikorodu, where I studied Food Technology and obtained a National Diploma.

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What was your experience like socially and emotionally while you were in school?

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At first, I isolated myself because I was unhappy about my condition. Sometimes, I felt ashamed because I could not dress or live like other people my age. It felt as though I was living a different kind of life.

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However, nobody treated me badly or spoke to me in a demeaning way. I maintained a healthy circle and did not feel the need to make many friends or put myself in the spotlight. I was loved and cared for, especially by my lecturers.

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I also attended two retreats, travelling from Ikorodu to Abeokuta. Towards the end of my schooling, I gradually became more comfortable with myself and was able to mix better with other people. I started using a prosthetic limb in 2017 when I resumed at the polytechnic.

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After obtaining your ND, what challenges did you face trying to enter the workforce?

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I could not use my certificate to get a job. I searched tirelessly for work, but many employers were unwilling to employ me because they were afraid that people would judge them negatively for giving someone with a disability an opportunity.

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Even during my SIWES, I struggled to secure a placement. Many organisations turned me down. It seemed as though they believed employing me would add to their challenges, rather than seeing it as an opportunity for me to become independent.

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After school, I also struggled to make a living with my qualification. That experience discouraged me from furthering my education at the time because I wondered what the point was if nobody was willing to give me an opportunity.

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How did you eventually discover catering and baking as a career?

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I have always had a passion for cooking. From around the age of 15, I would go to my friend’s house and help her prepare meals for her family. Cooking started as a hobby, but it eventually became something I realised I could build a career around.

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After graduating and staying at home without a job, assistance or funds, one of my mother’s friends told me about a government programme in Ikorodu. I enrolled in the programme to begin my catering journey.

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The training was not easy. We faced several challenges, and at one point, our tutor demanded things from us even though the government had already provided for the programme. There was eventually a change of principal, and things improved.

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There was a time I almost dropped out because of the demands being made of us. At the end of the training, I was also defamed and accused of stealing, which was very painful.

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Despite everything, I knew I was one of the best students in the class. I was not the type to give people gifts or try to impress them, and I sometimes questioned decisions when I felt they were wrong, especially during practical sessions. Unfortunately, I felt that this affected the recognition I received. With my mother’s support and by the grace of God, I endured everything and graduated with my certificate.

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How did you move from training to starting your own business?

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After the training, I returned to the employment market because I needed money to start my catering business, but I still could not find a job. At one point, I worked as a Bet9ja cashier for a while before eventually taking over my mother’s business.

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I finally opened a small space for my own business in March this year. Today, I am a caterer and baker, and my brand is Yolatcakesnmore. It has been a difficult journey, but I am grateful that I did not give up.

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What has kept you resilient through everything you have experienced?

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First and foremost, it is God. My disability has never depressed me or made me constantly think about it. It is simply the life I know because it happened when I was very young. I do not have memories of walking on two legs, so this is normal life to me. I do not see myself as abnormal because of my disability.

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My family, especially my mother, has also been a major source of strength. She made sure I did everything other people could do. That gave me confidence and taught me independence.

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I also have a strong desire to become successful. I want a better life for myself, and in anything worth doing, I try to do it well. I want to establish a foundation where I can take care of people, provide for others and make people happy. I want to become successful enough to make a difference in other people’s lives. That desire keeps me motivated.

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What has your journey taught you about how society treats people living with disabilities?

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I have learnt that society needs to understand that people living with disabilities are capable of working, contributing and being independent. Nigerians are generally loving and helpful. Sometimes, people stare because they are curious, but when they realise that someone needs help, many are willing to assist. However, support should not become pity or a reason to treat someone as incapable.

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People often make decisions about what we can or cannot do without asking us. Unnecessary pampering, constant staring and deliberate distance can make people with disabilities feel different and can affect their confidence.

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The stigma surrounding disability can also deny people opportunities. We are sometimes excluded from employment, education and other opportunities simply because people have already decided what our limitations are.

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What would you say to people struggling to accept or cope with a disability?

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I believe everyone’s breaking point is different, so I would never judge anyone based on how they respond to their situation. You can never truly know what another person is going through.

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For me, I believe I am wired differently. I remember the first time I used crutches was in the hospital. I was supposed to learn how to use them for a month, but I stopped after about two weeks because I adapted quickly.

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My mother also helped shape my mindset. She always told me that I was precious, and that was why I became disabled at an early age. So, when people asked me what happened to me, I would simply tell them, “It is because I am precious.”

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I am also a quiet person. I like being a source of peace to people. I am someone people can talk to, share their thoughts with and tell their stories to without worrying that I will judge them. Most importantly, I do not allow people’s opinions about me to determine how I see myself.

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What changes would you like to see in the way people treat persons living with disabilities?

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People living with disabilities should be allowed to live, work, learn, love, contribute and make decisions for themselves.

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Support is important, but it should not take away our independence. Statements such as “Leave her, she cannot do it,” “Don’t send her on an errand,” or “Let me do it for you” may come from a place of concern, but when they are constantly directed at us, they can become limiting.

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Instead of deciding what we cannot do, society should allow us to show what we can do. We deserve equal opportunities, dignity and the freedom to live our lives like everyone else.

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