Being a surrogate is a challenge, woman opens up about her heartfelt experience

A Nigerian woman, who chose to remain anonymous by wearing a mask, has spoken out about her journey as a surrogate mother, revealing that financial struggles and an unreliable partner drove her to make this difficult decision, which came after she lost her second child.

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She shared her story on a recent episode of Cruise TV, published on YouTube on Sunday, where she delved into the emotional, financial, and psychological challenges of carrying a child for another family.

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Becoming a surrogate, she confessed, was one of the toughest decisions she had ever made, due to the emotional bond that forms during pregnancy, despite knowing the child is not hers.

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She described the experience as emotionally taxing, saying "Emotionally it's not easy" and recalling a moment when she felt overwhelmed at three months of pregnancy, prompting her to call her nurse and express her doubts about continuing.

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She reminded herself that surrogacy was a job, which helped her cope, but acknowledged that emotions still ebbed and flowed throughout the process.

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The woman explained that she became a gestational surrogate through in vitro fertilization (IVF), meaning she had no biological connection to the babies she carried.

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Her partner's lack of financial support, despite her own efforts to provide for their family, was a significant factor that pushed her towards surrogacy, she said.

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She recounted how her first child was born, but her partner failed to take responsibility, and when she became pregnant again, she could no longer work, and they struggled to afford hospital bills.

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The pregnancy was complicated, resulting in the death of the baby, an experience that profoundly changed her perspective and led her to consider surrogacy as an alternative.

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She decided to help couples who could afford to care for her, rather than having another child with her partner, saying "If you don't have the money to care for my health, I won't do it for you".

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Initially, she declined any financial compensation beyond medical care, accommodation, and allowances, a decision she now regrets, saying "I told them I didn't want any compensation aside from the process, monthly allowance, wardrobe allowance and accommodation fee, but that was a mistake".

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She stated that she would not encourage her daughter to become a surrogate due to the emotional and health risks involved, saying "I cannot advise my daughter to be a surrogate".

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The surrogate mother also revealed that she relocated during one of her pregnancies to avoid stigma and would often tell people the baby had died when they asked questions.

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She noted that surrogate mothers face psychological challenges after delivery, despite undergoing counseling before and after childbirth, and emphasized that surrogacy is more demanding than many people realize, saying "Surrogacy is not as simple as people think".

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She advocated for stronger regulation of surrogacy to protect surrogate mothers from exploitation and ensure they receive adequate emotional and financial support.