Prevent Infidelity from Ruining Your Partnership

Jade, an old friend, recently expressed frustration with her daughter's boyfriend, who had been in a relationship with her daughter for 18 months but refused to accept that the romance had died.

n

According to Jade, her daughter had moved on, but the boyfriend persisted, claiming he was still in love, which Jade believed was just a reflection of his hurt pride at being dumped.

n

A discussion ensued among friends, with some taking issue with Jade's dismissive attitude towards relationships, prompting me to remind her that we owe it to younger people to show that love can ultimately conquer all.

n

Jade shot back with a personal remark, asking if love had really worked out for me over the years, which caught me off guard.

n

She then launched into a lecture about the prevalence of infidelity, noting that it's common even among married couples who pretend to be friends, making the betrayal even more painful when it happens.

n

Charlotte, who had been quietly listening, suddenly became interested in the conversation and shared her own experience, revealing that her husband's mistress was a woman they had befriended at their social club.

n

Charlotte explained that the woman, Ropo, had bought golf clubs and would often meet with Charlotte's husband, Greg, and another couple, Akin, at the club, where they would all socialize and become close friends.

n

However, Charlotte began to suspect that something was amiss when Greg told her he had run into Ropo at the club without her husband, and she discovered a message on Greg's phone from Ropo ending with "love you, see you soon!".

n

Confronting Greg, he downplayed the situation, claiming it was just a platonic friendship, but Charlotte was not convinced, and months later, she discovered that Ropo had a reputation for pursuing other women's husbands.

n

Charlotte eventually caught Greg and Ropo together at a bungalow, and she walked out, realizing that she no longer trusted her husband.

n

I advised Charlotte that if she wanted to save her marriage, she needed to move past the hurt and stop seeing herself as a victim, while also acknowledging that Greg's infidelity was not her fault.

n

Charlotte, however, was still fuming, noting that Greg continued to talk to Akin and Ropo, and she wondered why Akin, who was also a victim of Ropo's infidelity, had not left her despite years of humiliation.

n

I counseled Charlotte to focus on repairing her marriage, suggesting that they learn new ways to relate to each other and put intensity back into their love life.

n

Charlotte was skeptical, but I pointed out that some couples can emerge from an affair with a stronger marriage, although it's not always possible, especially if the spouse is a serial philanderer.

n

Research shows that having sex at least once a week can help keep illness and depression at bay, as genital stimulation can boost the immune system and relieve headaches and everyday aches and pains.

n

It's also important to ignore statistics about how often other people have sex, as this can lead to feelings of insecurity and worthlessness that can negatively impact one's sex life.

n

Minimizing distractions, such as watching TV in bed, can also help, as the flicker of the screen can hypnotize and kill the sex drive.

n

Trying new positions, such as getting on top, can also be beneficial, as 80% of people stick to the missionary position.

n

Eating foods rich in Vitamin D, like bananas, can enhance sex and orgasm by promoting blood flow to the sex organs.

n

Discussing fantasies with each other can also be a turn-on, and it's essential to keep the conversation private and not gossip about one's sex life with others.

n

Finally, it's unrealistic to expect simultaneous orgasms, as they are often faked in movies, and it's more important to focus on the quality of the relationship and the sex life rather than striving for an unrealistic ideal.