Intimacy is more than just pleasure, says Ara The Drummer

Nigerian drummer and musician Ara The Drummer has offered her insights on intimacy, relationships, and personal boundaries, noting that sex encompasses more than just physical gratification, involving a profound level of connection.

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During her appearance on the Under Her Skin Podcast, Ara emphasized that people frequently overlook the significance of sexual intimacy and the level of access it provides to another person's life.

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Ara stated, "Sex is not just enjoyment; it's literally just putting your life's plan in somebody's hands," highlighting the depth of vulnerability involved in intimate relationships.

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The drummer drew a parallel between sexual intimacy and sharing confidential information, adding, "You don't give someone the PIN to your ATM card or the password to your email, and similarly, when you sleep with someone, they can access you."

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Ara further elaborated that, from her perspective, intimacy fosters a profound bond between two individuals, explaining, "You are giving them the code to your spirit, to your realm, and they can do and undo with you."

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Reflecting on the boundaries people establish around physical intimacy, Ara questioned the reasoning behind certain statements made by women, asking, "Why do you think some girls say things like, 'Unless you didn't touch my breast'?"

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She observed that such statements hint at a deeper significance, saying, "Why do you think they say those kinds of things, it's deep," implying that these boundaries are often rooted in a complex understanding of intimacy.

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Ara noted that regardless of how individuals define the act, intimacy itself creates a connection, stating, "Some people would say, 'I didn't touch the breast, I only entered from behind,' but you still entered, and once you give someone that access, they can summon you; they can do anything to you."

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The veteran drummer also shared that her personal experiences have influenced her views on relationships, revealing, "I have fallen many times because I laid with the wrong person," underscoring the importance of discernment in intimate relationships.