Are Kids Less Thankful Than People They Don't Know, Asks Muyiwa Adetiba

A poignant tale was shared with me by a close friend, one that highlighted the enduring power of gratitude and kindness, as a man he had helped decades ago continued to express his appreciation through annual messages and calls, culminating in a surprise meeting last Easter.

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This chance encounter was marked by a remarkable display of generosity, as the man, despite struggling with a disability that had significantly impacted his earning power, presented my friend with an array of gifts, including crates of bottled water, in a heartwarming gesture reminiscent of the biblical story of the widow's mite.

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The narrative of this remarkable friendship began over two decades ago, when my friend's thriving business faced a major setback, prompting a spiritual response from sympathizers, and it was during this period that he met the young man, who at the time was exuberant and successful, with a thriving business.

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However, fate had other plans, and the young man suffered a sudden and debilitating physical ailment that left him financially and psychologically drained, with mounting bills, a half-completed house, and children to educate, including one on the verge of completing medical school.

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My friend, in an act of compassion, offered support, but the young man's life was forever altered, and he struggled to come to terms with his new reality, teetering on the brink of depression, yet he never forgot my friend's kindness and made a point to express his gratitude in person last Easter.

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During their meeting, the young man recounted how my friend's financial interventions had been a lifeline, saving him from the depths of despair, and he wanted to thank him in person, rather than waiting for his funeral, in a poignant expression of gratitude that underscored the human need for acknowledgment and appreciation.

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This story is not an isolated incident, as I have heard numerous tales of strangers seeking out their benefactors to express gratitude, and even when this is not possible, they seek out their benefactor's offspring to convey their thanks, highlighting the enduring power of kindness and generosity.

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In contrast, the relationship between parents and children is often more complex, with social media platforms filled with stories of abandonment and neglect, as parents, particularly fathers, express feelings of bitterness and regret, having been left to face old age alone, with only occasional, perfunctory visits from their busy children.

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As someone who has witnessed the challenges of widowhood and loneliness firsthand, I can attest that many older adults do not require financial support, but rather emotional connection, which is often lacking, as their children prioritize their own families and pursuits.

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Reflecting on my own relationship with my late father, I regret not having spent more time with him, simply enjoying each other's company, and shooting the breeze, as our conversations were often limited to discussions about education, work, and family, without the luxury of idle chatter.

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As an older father now, I yearn for a deeper connection with my children, one that transcends the mundane and allows us to talk about nothing and everything, a desire that I suspect my own father may have had, but was unable to express, given the societal norms of his time.

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I sense a mix of regret and entitlement in the songs and poems that express the pain of parental neglect, with some parents seemingly expecting their children to compensate for their lost youth, a feeling that can be seen as emotional blackmail, as children are not obligated to dedicate their lives to their parents' happiness.

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Children, on the other hand, often feel entitled to their parents' sacrifices, viewing them as a societal expectation, rather than a voluntary act of love and kindness, a perspective that is not shared by strangers, who are more likely to appreciate and acknowledge the kindness they receive.

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Old age is a vulnerable and often lonely time, with older adults requiring the care and support of their family, particularly their children, yet parents should appreciate the assistance they receive, rather than feeling entitled to it, as children have their own lives to live and challenges to overcome.

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Ultimately, the story that my friend shared serves as a reminder of the importance of offering compassionate help to those in need, as we never know who will be there for us in our own time of need, and by doing so, we create a ripple effect of kindness that can have a profound impact on the lives of others.