Achievement should not be our downfall

A silent crisis is affecting many young Nigerians, who are hiding their struggles behind accomplishments and polished online personas, all while facing the crisis of burnout, which stems from the relentless pursuit of success, not failure.

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This phenomenon was discussed in a recent conversation with mental health expert, Mrs. Oluwakemi Oyewole, who revealed a troubling trend where many young individuals are crumbling under the weight of expectation, rather than incompetence.

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The modern notion of success, amplified by various influences, including parents, institutions, workplaces, and social media, has become overly narrow, prioritizing outcomes while disregarding the human cost, and celebrating external validation while ignoring mental well-being.

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We have inadvertently raised a generation to believe that success is solely about external validation, with metrics such as money, titles, grades, and applause, while mental health is treated as an afterthought, something to be addressed after achieving success.

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This mindset is not only flawed but also destructive, as ambition, when driven by fear, comparison, and the need for external validation, becomes toxic, whereas healthy ambition is rooted in curiosity, growth, and intrinsic motivation.

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Across Nigeria, numerous young people are trapped in lives designed by expectation rather than self-awareness, with degrees and careers chosen for prestige and approval rather than personal interest and alignment.

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The consequences of this are predictable, including anxiety, identity confusion, chronic stress, and eventually, burnout, as seen in the story of a young man pressured by his family to pursue a medical career despite his personal limitations and differing interests.

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Academic environments have also become breeding grounds for unhealthy pressure, where students are conditioned to equate grades with value and performance with identity, and excellence is rewarded while struggle is stigmatized.

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Human capability is neither uniform nor linear, and ignoring this truth produces distress, not excellence, and parents, although acting out of love, can inadvertently contribute to this problem by pushing their children toward comparison-driven achievement.

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This can lead to a dangerous mindset, where a child believes their value is tied to their results, producing fragility rather than resilience, and beyond classrooms, career anxiety compounds the problem, with financial stability being a legitimate concern in Nigeria's economic climate.

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However, survival-driven decision-making often leads to young people being trapped in misaligned professional paths, and when work becomes a daily exercise in emotional resistance, burnout is inevitable, and social media further exacerbates this issue.

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Social media platforms, built for connection, have evolved into arenas of silent competition, where users are bombarded with curated images of success, creating the illusion that everyone else is achieving more, and feelings of inadequacy flourish as a result.

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Burnout often begins with subtle signals, including persistent fatigue, irritability, emotional detachment, loss of motivation, and sleep disruption, which are frequently mistaken for laziness or weakness, further deepening the cycle of self-criticism and exhaustion.

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The solution to this crisis is not complicated, and it begins with redefining success, recognizing that mental well-being is the foundation upon which all sustainable success rests, and that rest, sleep, breaks, nutrition, physical activity, and emotional support systems are essential for mental health.

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Self-awareness is also critical, and young people must be encouraged to ask themselves uncomfortable but necessary questions, such as whose dream they are pursuing and what genuinely motivates them, and families, institutions, and workplaces must also evolve to prioritize mental well-being.

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A culture that glorifies exhaustion and equates overwork with dedication is not cultivating excellence, but rather manufacturing breakdowns, and success should expand human possibility, not diminish mental stability, and a society that gains economic growth while losing psychological well-being is not progressing, but rather eroding.

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The conversation we urgently need is not about how to push harder, but how to pursue growth without losing ourselves, because success that costs one's mental health is not success at all, but merely survival dressed in applause.